Tout le monde a une histoire de rencontre qui a mal tourné. Que cela se produise à un rendez-vous à l’aveugle ou trois mois après le début d’une relation florissante, ces catastrophes frappent généralement à l’improviste et vous laissent stupéfaits, la mâchoire molle et, souvent, carrément offensés.
Et c’est exactement pourquoi ils font de si bonnes histoires. Espérons qu’ils nous apprennent une chose ou deux sur la recherche de l’amour.
Je connaissais Billy depuis cinq ans par l’intermédiaire d’amis communs, et à un moment donné, nous avons commencé à traîner de façon indépendante.
Je naviguais toujours sur le bateau ami quand Billy a indiqué que ses vents soufflaient maintenant d’une direction différente.
Je n’étais pas intéressé par lui de façon romantique à l’époque, mais nous semblions bien nous entendre. Et ainsi se sont ensuivis plusieurs mois de lieux de rencontre amicaux et coquin, au cours desquels je suis devenu de plus en plus friand de ce type. Nous avons passé un vendredi soir à jouer au billard avec des amis, à boire de la bière et à bavarder sur les marches d’une fête à la maison.
Nous avons parlé des avantages de la thérapie et partagé nos histoires respectives «voici ce qui m’a poussé à avoir besoin d’une thérapie» (New-Yorkais consciencieux que nous sommes).
Et puis nous nous sommes embrassés. Nous sommes allés à son appartement promener son chien et, inévitablement, nous nous sommes embrassés à nouveau. C’était passionnant, après des mois d’accumulation.
Autrement dit, jusqu’à ce qu’il se retire soudainement et dise: «Je ne peux pas faire ça.»
J’ai pensé qu’il plaisantait. « Euh, quoi? » J’ai demandé. « Pourquoi pas? »
« Eh bien, » répondit-il, sans même un sourire étouffé, « Tu ressembles exactement à ma tante. »
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Qu’est-ce que Billy n’a pas vraiment creusé à mon sujet? Pourquoi m’a-t-il poursuivi malgré ce raccrochage de sosie? A quoi pensait-il? Toutes les bonnes questions; pas de bonnes réponses.
En guise de pénitence, j’ai obligé Billy à m’envoyer une photo de mon prétendu Doppelganger.
Éliminez le Farrah ‘do et, disons, trente ans et, bien sûr, je pourrais voir une ressemblance.
Quand Billy (ou mon neveu, comme maintenant préfèrent l’appeler) et moi avons parlé quelques jours plus tard, il n’y avait pas grand-chose à aborder en dehors de ma fierté blessée et de sa sincère reconnaissance d’actes répréhensibles.
Il n’avait pas empêché le flirt de progresser car il ne savait pas que l’attirance familiale serait en fait un problème.
Une décennie de fréquentation m’a donné la possibilité de mettre un terme à la chute potentielle dans le terrier du lapin de «est-ce moi?» le doute de soi et le cynisme «les hommes sont des imbéciles» qui peuvent survenir (et, certainement pour moi, cela s’est produit) après que les amours ont mal tourné.
En fin de compte, remettre en question une déconnexion inexplicable ne fait qu’engendrer plus de questions.
Mais des années d’expérience nous donnent les réponses que ne peut pas s’interroger: l’attirance est inconstante; les choses ne fonctionnent pas toujours comme nous l’avions espéré, et parfois, souvent, c’est tout à fait pour le mieux.
Je ne le fais pas pour Billy; finalement, cela signifie qu’il ne le fait pas pour moi.
Billy et moi sommes sympathiques. Inutile de blâmer ou de calomnier quand il y a du destin à remercier, après tout.
Mis à part le gaspillage d’un béguin, je suis reparti avec une bonne histoire et une évasion précoce d’une situation potentiellement désordonnée et incestueuse.
Comme le dit mon ami indien qui sort exclusivement avec des non-Indiens: «Fille, c’est pourquoi tu dois sortir ensemble en dehors de ta race. Aucun de mes garçons ne me dit que je ressemble à leurs tantes. Elle fait valoir un point.
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